Missing you, again

Can you feel me missing you? I think about you often, every day in fact. Some days more than others. I wonder how much of every day you watch me, filling the skies with the light from your smile.  It doesn’t matter that you’ve been gone for years now. That most the people in my…

Broken crayons still color 

I finally broke. In more instances than one for longer than I needed to, I held it together. I held life together by stitches and smiled through it all trying to have the best outlook on the world, humanity, and the integrity of the people places and opportunities around me. God puts you through the…

In the midst of it all

That feeling you get when life is overwhelmingly good. When all the stars are aligned in your favor, and your zodiac sign finally says your love life might not be such trash for a little bit. THAT, those feelings of excitement and joy and pure happiness that some how intertwined would be the best love…

Sex and dating 

I rant a lot about dating, and the expectations and stigma of a young woman who is dating a lot. Growing up dating was overly romanticized and unrealistic.  One of my first blog posts was also about dating, especially since back then I hadn’t had much experience dating as an adult. I just went from…

Vahine Toa 

Breathing my own air, making my own happiness, and being my own company has been the foundation to my growth.  Selfish space Every chance in my life that I have had to grow I have always come back to my family because, you know, you are only as strong as your roots.  In the last…

The butterflies in my stomach

The butterflies in my stomach have never left me throughout the many trials and tribulations of 2016. Happiness, anger, regret, love, and every other mixture of emotions have passed through me this year. With every moment during each emotion the butterflies in my stomach never left. The soft flutters I felt with happiness and love,…

Chonged

Never in my life had I been more paranoid than the hours I spent high. I was paranoid because I was high and had never been high before, but I was also extremely pissed off because being high wasn’t my choice. I am highly against getting high in any forms. Whether it’s by smoking weed…

Hurt people, hurt people

Under no circumstances should one broken and hurt person ever run to another broken and hurt person for covering. It’s dangerous and extremely unhealthy. You don’t come into something a half person. Most people think you bring half and I bring half and we can be one, NO! I have in my past also thought…

Not selfish, self loved

Self love is tough. We are our own worst critics, and often we criticize ourselves in areas of our lives that go unnoticed by others. Although most people would say and think that my life is perfect, it’s so far from it. BUT I make it look so. It’s actually a defense mechanism I use….

A Virtuous Woman

What does it mean to be virtuous? This is something I have wondered since I was very young, about 12 years old. One of my favorite movies, The Legend of Johnny Lingo, mentioned it in a scene and since then I have wondered what it meant to be virtuous. In the scene a king from…

I am a Christian

Let me tell you that God is good! He is so good…all the time. After faithfully attending New Hope Las Vegas for 6 months, I proclaimed my belief in God and his words being true. After an awesome worship and service I stood with my hands up at the front of church, crying, and reciting…

No message in a bottle 

There isn’t a secret message at the bottom of the bottle… I PROMISE ___ The background… Drinking wasn’t always a problem for me. I used to be able to drink and know my limits. I know that to be a fact, but I don’t exactly remember the last time that I could casually drink. Everything…